Some Kaliahisms to Get You Over the Hump...

Well, Hump Day is upon us, as are several inches of snow here in Slower Lower Delaware.  Again.

I have no flip or humorous comments to offer concerning the weather.  I have decided, though, that Old Man Winter is much more to blame for this than is Mother Nature.  Men are much more stubborn, and this is The Winter That Never Ends, apparently.

So, what to do when you are snowed in for the four BILLIONTH time with your child or your children?

Treasure them for the joy that they are, of course.

It's either that, or, you know, allow them to slowly but surely drive you insane.

Just kidding.

Mostly.

I am blessed to have an amazing daughter.  Still, sometimes the things that come out of her innocent mouth are quite ridiculous. So on a snowy spring day with not much else to do, I present, for your entertainment:

Kaliahisms.

Actual sayings by our eight-going-on-nine-year-old daughter, Kaliah.

1.  My favorite so far this year:  "It only takes one person to mind the business."  I can't remember the exact context of this quote, but she said it shortly after New Year's and Rashieme and I bring it up frequently.  And true:  if the whole world had Kaliah's attitude, how much more peaceful would planet Earth be?

2.  While cooking breakfast for Rashieme:  "These are going to be the best eggs Dad's ever tasted.  Except for the ones he makes.  They're way better."  Hash tag, Chef Problems.  At least we tried.

3.  After Kaliah finally admitted to forgetting about a cup of apple juice that the cat consequently knocked over:
     Me:  "All you had to do was say, I'm sorry, Mom.  I forgot."
     Rashieme:  "Yeah.  Instead of making a bunch of excuses."  Looks my way. (Guilty as charged, 
     by the way and FYI).  "Wonder who she  gets that from?"
     Kaliah:  "From you, Dad.  You just gave an excuse."
     Rashieme:  "No, I didn't.  Kaliah, do you even know what an excuse is?  Or are you just talking?"
     Me:  "Wonder who she gets that from."

4.  "That dumb cat is so smart!"

5.  Accompanied by the picture below and followed by evil laughter:  "This is the perfect snowball.  It's glorious!"

 

Happy Hump Day, Er'rybody! Don't worry, warmer days are coming!  (Aren't they?  I mean, like, don't they have to be?)

13 Kaliahisms for 2013

Kaliahism:  Noun.  (Kuh-LEE-uh-ism).  Saying produced by Kaliah Rose McFadden, daughter of Jenny Lynn Meister and Rashieme Lamar McFadden.

As we bid goodbye to 2013, take a few moments to view the year through the eyes of an eight-year-old.  The following Kaliahisms are actual sayings as uttered by Kaliah throughout the year 2013, as closely directly quoted as my overcrowded memory allows.  Here are 13 of them for 2013.

1.  "I have a Mario head, Mom.  You have a Luigi head."
2.  "Back in the 1950s, did the world used to be in black and white?"
3.  "Mom... why did you sleep in that?
     "I didn't.  This is what I'm wearing to work today.  It's 80's day."
     "That's not 80's.  It's just crazy."
4.   "It is 80's.  This is how people used to dress back then."
     "YOU were in the 80s???"
5.  "Pull over, Mom!  We have GOT to pick that dandelion!"
6.  "You could probably win a potato chip eating contest, Mom."
7.  "I might want to be a farmer when I grow up."
     "We don't have a farm, Kaliah."
     "So?"
8.  "Kaliah, do you understand this cartoon?"
     (Cartoon features the caption 'Punctuation saves lives.' Family is surrounding Grandma, and there are two examples given:  "Let's eat, Grandma!" and "Let's eat Grandma!"
     "Yes, when you move the comma, they're not telling grandma to eat... they're saying they'll eat Grandma!"
9.   "I know how to swim.  I just can't do it, yet."
10.  While "Sexy and I Know It" is on the radio.  The line that goes, "There's a passion in my pants and I'm not afraid to show it..."
     "Mom, what does fashion in his pants mean?  Does that mean he's wearing really pretty underwear?"
     "That's exactly what it means, Kaliah."  (Changing the channel quick, fast and in a hurry).
11.  "Remember when you got the parking ticket and started crying, Mom?"
12.  "Uncle Billy can drive?"
      "Yes, we bought our car from him."
       "Huh.  I never knew he made it that far in life."
13.  "I'm good at gymnastics because I'm so stretchable."

As we close out the year, I thank God for my smart, sweet, funny little girl.  I thank Him for all of my other blessings, including another year spent with the love of my life, the joy of spending time with family, the roof over our heads, the job I have, the dreams I work toward.  I pray that you and your family will be blessed tremendously in 2014, and I thank you, as always, for taking the time to read!