A Friendly Reminder

I don't have anything profound to say today--just a simple reminder to be kind.

A week or so ago, I heard about an incident that had happened between a frustrated student and a staff member.  The student had become inpatient about a certain situation, and apparently, gave the woman with whom she'd been interacting quite a mouthful.

I began thinking about how this woman had become the brunt of a verbal lashing, when really, she was just trying to do her job.  I thought about how unfair it was to the staff member, who, from my understanding of the events, had been rather unfairly selected as the student chose her as a target to unleash her irritation.

I thought about how that student had no idea what this woman's life was like outside of their encounter, which probably lasted only several minutes long.  I thought about how, if I had been that staff member, I'd probably go home dwelling on the event, wondering what I could have done differently.  I often internalize the worst events of my day, often making them worse by replaying them over and over, trying to handle them better.  I sometimes can't let go of situations that hurt me, or situations in which I worry I caused others hurt. 

The same could be said for the student, though--who knows what she was dealing with?  I've heard it said before and I think it's worth repeating:  We're all dealing with something.  Every single person you know is either in the midst of a battle (visible or invisible), or they've just come out the other side of one.  In the rare instances where that's not the case, I imagine their numbers will be called shortly for upcoming life trials to be dispensed.  So, given that pretty much all of us are either currently dealing with, about to enter, or have just exited a difficult ordeal, doesn't it make sense that we all take a deep breath, and remember that it costs us nothing to be kind to one another?

In my life, I'm sure I've been both this student (taking out undue frustrations on whoever happens to be in front of me) and this staff member (absorbing them).  It's not fun to play either role, so I try not to let my anxieties or worries filter into daily life beyond the situations that have caused them.  I also try to remember that no one is perfect, so when I find someone being especially short with me, it's not always a personal attack.  The same rule applies in lots of situations, so I try to have a little extra grace when the cashiers aren't as friendly as I'd prefer, when the servers seem like they're struggling to keep up with a busy night, when the driver behind me passes me to cut me off, when the parent in the supermarket is fighting a losing battle with a tantrum-throwing toddler, etc., etc., etc.

Smiles aren't always expressions of happiness.  Sometimes they are the masks that hide incredible pain.  Be kind.

Clipped words, snapped responses, ignored text messages, curt glances, and even rude actions aren't always intended to be invitations to argue.  Sometimes they are side effects from dealing with grief, grappling with hardship, or being exhausted by the roller coasters of this tumultuous life.

Whenever you can, choose kindness.